Friday, November 22, 2019

The Best Marketing Operations Strategy to Help Overloaded Managers

The Best Marketing Operations Strategy to Help Overloaded Managers Let’s be honest†¦ Marketing Operations doesn’t sound very sexy. It doesn’t spark the same excitement as say a blog post entitled, â€Å"The Best Times to Post on Social Media†. BUT, if you’re a marketing manager looking to improve ROI, Marketing Operations is a topic you should care about. Marketers are constantly expected to do more with less. You’re expected to show your value at every turn†¦ And we’re not just talking about vanity metrics†¦ You need to show cold, hard numbers about how your strategy is driving real business value. By implementing a Marketing Operations strategy†¦ (or even devoting an entire full-time employee to the task) you can start being more consistent in your processes and reaching your campaign goals on the reg. Better processes, better results, better execution. This #Marketing Operations strategy is theMakes Marketing Operations a Cinch So you don’t have the budget to hire a Marketing Operations pro full-time UGH, you’re thinking†¦ Not *another* task I have to take on myself. Have no fear, is here. For real. Lots of Marketing Operations functions can be solved with . Strategic planning? âÅ"… Project Management? âÅ"… Content Operations? âÅ"… Managing your roadmap? âÅ"… Providing insights to Stakeholders? âÅ"… Schedule a demo today to learn how it can make your work life SO much easier. Download These Marketing Operations Templates Before diving in, these templates will help you implement a Marketing Operations Strategy. You’ll find: A Simple Performance Management Checklist   Setting clear goals makes it easier to evaluate your marketing team and increase productivity. Use this checklist to know exactly what to look for, which questions to ask, and what to do. An Agile Sprint planning template   Use this template to implement an Agile marketing process and make sure every project gets done on time, every time. A Marketing Project Management Plan Template   Managing a marketing project is no joke. There are tons of moving parts. Use this template to help get your projects more organized from the get-go. They’ll make putting a strategy into practice much easier. What Even is Marketing Operations? Here are some analogies to illustrate: Marketing Operations is the Excel Spreadsheet to your Adobe Illustrator. It’s the marketing analytics and logic to your design and creativity. It’s the skills handled by the left side of your brain in comparison to the right side. Not into analogies? No problem. Here’s a quick and dirty explanation: Marketing Operations focuses on behind-the-scenes planning, governance, and optimization to make marketing initiatives more successful. From initial budgeting to end-of-campaign analysis, a Marketing Operations professional is responsible for providing hard data to back-up the marketing strategy. Sounds a lot like most marketing managers, amirite? The Scope of Marketing Operations Marketing Operations can be found in all stages of the marketing process. While marketing is usually thought of as the creative group in an organization, the role of Marketing Operations stemmed from the need for increased transparency, efficiency, and accountability. As new technologies slowly proliferated the marketing scene, it became clear that a role was needed to align a company’s processes, metrics and goals – enter Marketing Operations. But for most small and medium-sized enterprises, all of these tasks fall on the shoulders of the Marketing Manager, Marketing Director, or VP of Marketing. That said, here’s a Marketing Operations Strategy to help make your Marketing Operations tasks easier than ever. A Marketing Manager’s Guide to Marketing Operations Let’s assume that you don’t work for a mega-corporation that has all the resources in the world to devote to an entire Marketing Operations, operation. You can still reap the benefits of Marketing Ops by using this strategy. Let’s start with technology†¦ Marketing Operations Technology Marketing Technology or MarTech – has made our jobs as marketers both easier and more complicated. Finding the right solution can make your day-to-day work life 1000x easier... But finding that solution†¦ coupled with *actually* getting your team to use it, sounds like a task that is not worth tackling. However, the status quo can’t continue. This spreadsheet has. Got. To. Go. Let’s start with your tool stack. Don’t have time to track down every MarTech tool for your stack? Here’s a short list to help: Kissmetrics: Metrics, reporting and tracking your funnel are all basic tasks for Marketing Ops. Kissmetrics allows you to build powerful reports and dashboards to track your marketing funnel,   email subscribers, UTM parameters, website activity, and more. Ahrefs: Benchmarketing, competitor analysis, and strategic content planning also fall within the scope of Marketing Operations. Ahrefs helps you target valuable keywords and figure out what you need to do in order to rank your content on search engines. Salesforce: To manage your campaign operations and customer journey tracking like the best of ‘em, Salesforce is pretty awesome. Track things like interactions, build customer segmentations and re-engage using one of the most powerful CRMs around. There is so much you can do with Salesforce we can’t even scratch the surface – it’s a must have to accomplish a lot of Marketing Operations functions. : A project management platform that is actually made for marketing teams.   With you can collaborate, plan, manage workloads and track campaigns all in one tool. It’s mission control for your entire marketing roadmap. Easily see what your entire team is working on day-to-day; share insights with stakeholders using the read-only view; and maximize your team’s productivity. Autopilot: Lead nurturing is awfully hard without a powerful marketing automation platform. Autopilot take a visual approach to email flows. Use this tool to implement advanced marketing automation functions, nurture your leads and hit each persona with the right message at the right time. Process Development and Optimization Efficient and effective processes are one of the key components of Marketing Operations. A successful marketing team doesn’t just set it and forget it, they are constantly improving and tailoring best practices. Start by planning and documenting your workflows. Documenting your workflows means that everyone knows the correct order of operations, when tasks are due, and where their contributions fit into the project’s timeline. They are essential for completing work on time, every time. A documented workflow also means that you can spend more time doing meaningful work and less time following-up with every person at every stage of a marketing project. Here’s how to do it: Step 1:  Determine each team member’s role for each type of project you execute regularly. Step 2:  Map out each task that needs to be completed. Step 3:  Next, assign the task and determine the length of time needed to complete each task. Step 4: Work back from there to determine the necessary project length and attach task due dates for each step in the workflow. For example, here’s what this might look like for a webinar: Generate ideas: Strategist - due 30 days before launch Recruit guest: Strategist - Due 25 days before launch Create talking points: Strategist - Due 18 days before launch Design slide deck: Designer - Due 17 days before launch Include in drip campaign: Marketing Automation - Due 14 days before launch Approve slide deck: Strategist - Due 12 days before launch Schedule social promotion: Writer/Social Strategist - 10 days before launch Test run-though: Guest Host - 1 day before launch Let’s illustrate how this can be done with : In the top right-hand corner of your project click the task template icon. Then, create a new task template. Name your workflow and add each task associated with the project. Next, you can add a due date for each task and assign it to the relevant team member. Now your webinar workflow is documented and ready to be attached to every webinar project from here on out. Recommended Reading: How to Implement an Effective Marketing Workflow Management Process in 7 Simple Steps How To Boost A Marketing Workflow Process That Will Reduce Work By 30-50% Implement an Agile Approach Agile refers to a flexible marketing approach in which teams identify high-value projects, break those project down into smaller deliverables, measure their impact, and then iterate on the results to incrementally improve. Agile Marketing provides marketing teams a set process for running (most) marketing campaigns. Hence a perfect fit for Marketing Operations.

Thursday, November 21, 2019

The development and future of the Sukuk in Saudi Arabia financial Essay

The development and future of the Sukuk in Saudi Arabia financial services - Essay Example n the global markets This chapter aims to provide a through insight into the research that has been conducted regarding regulation and securitization involving Sukuk. The chapter aims to elaborate the structure of the Sukuk markets and the processes that go into issuing Sukuk and summarize. The global perspective on Sukuk has been thoroughly-researched in the past few years and this has helped us considerably in conducting the present study. Moreover, previous researchers have provided a convergent viewpoint regarding the growth of Sukuk in Muslim as well as non-Muslim countries. A number of definitions of Sukuk have been proposed by researchers and scholars. Sukuk can be regarded as a product of Islamic banking that allows the creation of a system of investment that results in profits for the investor and at the same time aims to comply with the Islamic ban on usury. According to the definition proposed by the Academy of International Modern Studies (2009), Sukuk are referred to as trust certificates or as participation securities1. Sukuk are considered to be ideal tools for the management of liquidity. In general terms, Sukuk could be defined as a structure of Islamic banking that provides assets to the investor with a cash flow2. The word Sukuk is an Arabic word which is a plural of the word sak which refers to any financial certificate. The word Sak is a cognate of the English word Cheque. Sukuk are implemented by following a process of securitization which aims to meet the standards of Islamic financing required by the Shariah and by the national laws of Islamic financing. Another definition that sheds light on the issue of profit and risk taking in the issuing of Sukuk had been proposed by Tan Wan Yean (2009) in his research on Islamic banking quotes the Accounting and Auditing Organization for Islamic Financial Institutions (AAOIFI) definition of Sukuk: â€Å"†¦ certificates of equal value representing, after closing subscription, receipt of the value of

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Reflection paper on movie Life is Beautiful made by Roberto Benigni Essay

Reflection paper on movie Life is Beautiful made by Roberto Benigni - Essay Example That was until Roberto Benigni came along with his movie life is beautiful and attempted to tell the story of genocide and murder through the eyes of a child narrator and the antics of an adorable, funny and somewhat unhinged father. The movie Life is Beautiful by Roberto Benigni was hailed as a creative and artistic masterpiece by some and criticized by others for trying to trivialize the seriousness, horror and torture that were the engenderment of the holocaust. Nevertheless, it was highly feted and won awards in several categories such as best music, original dramatic score best foreign language and for his role Benigni won the best actor, this is in addition to academy award nominations in directing and best picture. In this movie, Benigni attempts to represent a picture of the holocaust in a comic way, he does this, not by trivializing or even diluting the events as some critics have claimed but by using Guido, who is by nature a comedian who tries to use humor to help his son and himself cope with the evils of the genocide. Plot of the movie is revolved around on Guido a young charismatic and ambitious Jewish Italian who is caught up in the wave of Anti-Semitism that results in him and his wife and son being dragged off to a concentration camp. The main focus of the story is his attempt to shield his son and to some extent himself from the harsh realities of the camp so that he may not suffer psychologically by deceiving him it is a just a game. The movie is divided in two parts, the first is the introduction which sets the background for the plot and introduces the characters in the period before holocaust begun to be felt in Italy, herein; Guido, is as a young man with ambitions of starting a book shop. He is living with his uncle and working as a waiter; he is full of mischief and has an adventurous and comic streak in him that fills that movie with slapstick scenes and jokes that leave the viewer laughing with and at him. He falls in love with a scho ol teacher who is already engaged and manages to steal her form her betrothed by â€Å"rescuing† her in a true quixotic and romantic fashion from her enjoyment party while riding on a horse. They get married and have son and for a period, they lead a peaceful and idyllic life. This is however despite the evidence of segregation and xenophobia that has become more intense with time, shops are covered with signs of â€Å"No Jews Allowed† or Jews and Dogs not allowed†. However even with anti-Semitism all around them, Guido tries to protect his son from the truth by making up all sorts of explanations to show him that the signs meant everything expect what they actually meant. In the second part is when the family comes face to face with

Saturday, November 16, 2019

A Contemporary Artist Essay Example for Free

A Contemporary Artist Essay Laurie Anderson was born in Chicago in 1947. She is a conglomerate of talents music, writing, fiction, philosophy, sculpture and film in one human form. The Bernard College in New York and the Columbia University share the fame of being Laurie Anderson’s alma mater. Her piece of work has an artistic flavour and wins applaud for its central quality of mystery, melodrama and humor with contemporary theme. Laurie Anderson’s Theme Andersons goal was ‘dissolving barriers between people. ’ In one of her interview (2007) she said that all her work involves some kind of escapism, ‘imagining a body to be somewhere else. Music reminds you about your body, but it also takes you out of it. All art is a form of escape, but music is in particular. ’ Some of her renowned performances are United States (I-IV), Speed of the Darkness, Moby Dick: Songs and Poems, etc. Homeland – a Master Piece One of Laurie Anderson’s masterpieces ‘Homeland’ in the year 2007 held sway over her audience for its contemporary theme. It is a scintillating 100-minute performance in which she sings, speaks, plays violin and keyboard. Theme of Homeland The theme of Homeland ponders over the modern America, its withered freedom, its war on Iraq, and the issue of global warming. Laurie Anderson’s wit is revealed when she asks, â€Å"Was the constitution written in invisible ink? † Homeland portrays children being treated as crusaders of war – a clear message that their future is at stake. She touches on the country’s mislead path, bad rulers, and the civilians with troubled state of mind. Her song expresses that no real personal relationships are maintained. The consumer culture on the high is understood through her reference to underwear gods. Homeland is a magnificent song with the combination of sweet choruses, soft violin cello duets, and the maestro Peter Scherer’s keyboards. Homeland is gloomy but it has wit in it. It is an expression of fear and disappointment but is full of heart and soul. Homeland is a true reflection of our troubled times. References L. Anderson, personal communication, 2007. Retrieved February 7, 2009 from http://www. pbs. org/art21/artists/index. html Retrieved February 7, 2009 from http://www. musicianguide. com/biographies/1608002294/Laurie-Anderson. html

Thursday, November 14, 2019

Alexander The Great Essay -- essays research papers

Alexander the Great is said to be one of the greatest conquerors of all time, and yet, his significance in battle showed up late in his life. His early years were spent in poverty, and as the years progressed, his dream of being a war hero grew dimmer and dimmer.Ironically, while he was later known as a war hero, he was still feared by all because of his reputation as a drinker and murderer. But first, his background. He was born in 356 BC. His parents were Philip, the brother of King Perdiccas III of Macedon, in Northern Greece. His mother was Olympias, daughter of King Neoptolemus I of Epirus, in modern Albania. He also had a younger sister, Cleopatra (not the famous Egyptian queen).However, this family was not as ordinary as one might think. In fact, his parents absolutely hated each other. Philip had complied with Macedonian tradition and had a few wives. Soon, one of his wives had a baby which had mysteriously become disabled after birth. It was said that the disability was due to poisoning from Olympias. Olympias sometimes told Alexander that Philip wasn’t his real father, but this probably wasn’t true.After all, Philip certainly did seem to care for Alexander as if he was his real son. He even appointed Aristotle himself as Alexander’s first and only tutor. Yet, there were some things about Alexander that made Philip angry. He hated the fact that his was very skinny and the fact that he had a high-pitched voice. Still, Alexander felt lucky to have this man as his father and mentor. In 359 BC, when Alexander was three, Philip’s Brother, King Peridcaas III, died. It was originally planned that his son, Amyntas, was tosucceed him with Philip as his regent, but Philip usurped his nephew’s throne and made himself King Philip II. In a few decades, he proved to be a stronger king and he eventually conquered most of Greece. When he was in his teens, Alexander’s father came to him one day and told him that he had to leave to fight in a war. Thus Alexander, being his regent, would have to serve for the time being. While his father was away, Alexander led an expedition to a wild region of modern day Bulgaria. Here, he found a race of wild barbarians, whom he later subdued. He, then, established his first city, Alexandropolis, at the site of this defeat. This made his strength apparent to everyone and ... ...y from Roxane for a long period of time. His men refused to go any further, however, and he turned back to go home. On the march home, he fought many cities, and took an arrow in the chest, but lived.On a later visit to Persia, he found that many of his Governors had abused their power. He had them executed and, in an attempt to reunite the two civilizations, he married the old King’s daughter, Barsine, while still married to Roxane. His best friend, Hephaestion, married Barsine’s sister, Drypetis. He even gave some Persians high rankings in his army. But these attempts failed and even the marriages broke up.In the fall of 324 BC, Alexander’s best friend, Hephaestion, died.Alexander was heartbroken and in the following summer, Alexander became ill and died on June 13 in Babylon at the age of 32. Modern historians have long suspected that he died from Malaria, but, recently, it has been suggested that Typhoid Fever was the culprit. Today, we know Alexander as one of the greatest generals, leaders, and conquerors of all time, and we know that this was his main goal in life... To be remembered, not as a villain, but as his childhood dream.....A war hero.

Monday, November 11, 2019

Personal Statement Example

I was born and raised in a third-world country: Ethiopia. Even though Ethiopia is mainly known for her poverty and destitution, my life there was not that bad. Since my dad has lived in the USA since long before I arrived, I was able to go to private school in Ethiopia and get a good education. I came to the USA when I was fourteen years old. Nothing was as easy as I thought it would be. New country, new language, new home, new school, new friends: everything was new for me. Being a high school student made it even harder.It is obvious that all teens face typical problems during their high school life, like bullying, peer pressure, teen pregnancy, and boyfriend/girlfriend problems. Well, imagine how hard it is for foreign students to get used to a new country and new school on top of all those problems. It was not easy for me to make new friends, to get used to the new school, and, most importantly, to develop my English. However, those obstacles didn’t stop me from getting ou tstanding grades in my classes, even the ones that seemed like they might be beyond my level. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to go to college in Boston. When I was in Ethiopia, I always used to tell my friends that I was going to graduate from Boston University one day. After I came here, I realized that it is extremely competitive to go to college in the United States, especially top-tier colleges like Boston University. But that didn’t stop me from dreaming and working hard to accomplish my lifelong goal. As Gail Devers once said, â€Å"Keep your dreams alive, understand that to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard-work, determination and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe. So, I believe in myself and I know I can fulfill my dreams as long as I work hard. I believe Success is the son of Hard Work, so even if I have to suffer a lot to reach the top of the success ladder, I am willing to face any challenges. Without suffering, and without obstacles, life wouldn’t make any sense. The main reason I wanted to attend the summer high school honors program at Boston University is, as I mentioned above, that Boston University is my dream college. Attending the summer program at one of the world’s top universities would be an extraordinary experience for me. Also, taking ourses that are not available at my high school and earning up to eight college credits is a great opportunity for me to open the door into success. Since I am a junior right now, next year would be my last year in a high school. I wanted to take Precalculus and Calculus during my high school years. Because I want to major in pre-med paired with math, since i have passion for both science and math. But the problem is that I can only take precalculus next year. But if I attend the summer high school program, I would be able to take precalculus which it will allow me to take calculus during my senior year. My dream is to be a doctor, and I believe Boston University will help me to become a well-rounded, generally educated, and most importantly, the best doctor. I am very thrilled and excited to attend the summer high school program at BU, because BU fits my kind of personality which is, capacious, conscientious, agile and orthodox. so for an imaginative girl like me, Boston University is the perfect place, and I am eager to meet like-minded students from different parts of the country. to broaden my experience of American Academic landscape beyond Orange,NJ. Personal Statement Example Photography is law-breaking. The possibilities are endless. Why should we stick with fashion existing notions when we can challenge them? Our world is our oyster and is there for us to use it. I find amazing how fashion is an ever-changing issue. Fashion analyzes the history of our world and re-invents it in a contemporary way (e. g the Dior Spring 2004 collection inspired in the Ancient Egypt). Fashion is not just what we wear; it changes attitudes, personalities, manners, the effects it has are unbelievable (e. g James Dean teenage look and making denim fashionable) this is why my passion for it is dazzling.My aim is to produce an original response to fashion photography which is edge-cutting & convey something more than a standard image. Since I was 4, I started to admire beauty; I drew portraits of my mother & started developing an awareness of what beauty & fashion is. During my childhood, I was attached to a pencil; my arising curiosity & admiration for the female form grew as I kept developing my art skills; specially drawing women. These activities started to hook me to fashion, photography & make-up. I have been lucky to have a close group of 7 girls. My amusement with photography started when I began to shoot them.Suddenly, photography started to fascinate me & I became really devoted & dedicated; always eager to learn a& keep doing photo shoots frequently. In my photography, I try to unearth the raw beauty with make-up, angles, lightning & directing model properly. I cherish observing at people; how the light reflects on them, their face, eyes and I imagine poses; my mind is a non-stop rollercoaster of ideas. My ambition & determination made me start working with clients when I was 15. These clients were other girls who saw photographs on social networks & started to want me to shoot them & I began to gain money.I prepared a portfolio and went to Carmen Duran (model agency) and they offered me a job as a photographer. I realized this is what I wanted to do with my life & to further develop myself I decided to study in London which is a global hub that will definitely give me creativity & inspiration. I then applied to fashion photography courses & LCF rejected me so I got a place in the SSU studying Fashion with Photography which I really enjoy but I think LCF is where I want to get taught this is why I decided to take the â€Å"Fashion Photography 1† course starting this February to keep broaden my knowledge and be more repared if I received the opportunity to study in this prestigious university. In the fashion industry, I worked for Marta Stella which designed hats for the â€Å"The Skin I Live† directed by Almodovar. Julian Mateo Atelier, Vicente Gracia, etc. I shoot the accessories campaign of Amparo Chorda, a designer who appeared on the NY Fashion Week & my work has appeared in press and TV. I photographed an event in London Cuckoo Club. This work experiences enable me to develop professional skills, meet d eadlines & work as a team.In my free time, I enjoy viewing contemporary magazines & sites: 125 magazine, Love, Tank, Let them Eat Cake, Lula, Self Service, Purple, and V Mag. Furthermore, blogs like Alice Point & websties like fashiongonerogue are a source of ideas for me. Furthermore, I enjoy researching & watching documentaries about photographers e. g: Bailey & the movement of the swinging London, I admire his tightly cropped high-contrast images. However, I appreciate fashion photography from Corinne Day style to Vadukul.Demarchelier is probably my favorite photographer; I adore the Pirelli Calendar 2008, is awesome: the Asian influence, styling, cold tones, etc. This is a clear e. g of what I want to do. Styling & make-up are others of my passions. I admire Babeth because of her minimalism & masculinity, C. Roitfeld and K. Grand. Finally, I know I am not the best applicant but I just feel sparkling emotions when I am doing a shoot, when I am styling & when I direct models which completely fulfills me. Personal Statement Example I was born and raised in a third-world country: Ethiopia. Even though Ethiopia is mainly known for her poverty and destitution, my life there was not that bad. Since my dad has lived in the USA since long before I arrived, I was able to go to private school in Ethiopia and get a good education. I came to the USA when I was fourteen years old. Nothing was as easy as I thought it would be. New country, new language, new home, new school, new friends: everything was new for me. Being a high school student made it even harder.It is obvious that all teens face typical problems during their high school life, like bullying, peer pressure, teen pregnancy, and boyfriend/girlfriend problems. Well, imagine how hard it is for foreign students to get used to a new country and new school on top of all those problems. It was not easy for me to make new friends, to get used to the new school, and, most importantly, to develop my English. However, those obstacles didn’t stop me from getting ou tstanding grades in my classes, even the ones that seemed like they might be beyond my level. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to go to college in Boston. When I was in Ethiopia, I always used to tell my friends that I was going to graduate from Boston University one day. After I came here, I realized that it is extremely competitive to go to college in the United States, especially top-tier colleges like Boston University. But that didn’t stop me from dreaming and working hard to accomplish my lifelong goal. As Gail Devers once said, â€Å"Keep your dreams alive, understand that to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard-work, determination and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe. So, I believe in myself and I know I can fulfill my dreams as long as I work hard. I believe Success is the son of Hard Work, so even if I have to suffer a lot to reach the top of the success ladder, I am willing to face any challenges. Without suffering, and without obstacles, life wouldn’t make any sense. The main reason I wanted to attend the summer high school honors program at Boston University is, as I mentioned above, that Boston University is my dream college. Attending the summer program at one of the world’s top universities would be an extraordinary experience for me. Also, taking ourses that are not available at my high school and earning up to eight college credits is a great opportunity for me to open the door into success. Since I am a junior right now, next year would be my last year in a high school. I wanted to take Precalculus and Calculus during my high school years. Because I want to major in pre-med paired with math, since i have passion for both science and math. But the problem is that I can only take precalculus next year. But if I attend the summer high school program, I would be able to take precalculus which it will allow me to take calculus during my senior year. My dream is to be a doctor, and I believe Boston University will help me to become a well-rounded, generally educated, and most importantly, the best doctor. I am very thrilled and excited to attend the summer high school program at BU, because BU fits my kind of personality which is, capacious, conscientious, agile and orthodox. so for an imaginative girl like me, Boston University is the perfect place, and I am eager to meet like-minded students from different parts of the country. to broaden my experience of American Academic landscape beyond Orange,NJ.

Saturday, November 9, 2019

The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 7 REPETITION

I WASN'T SURE WHAT THE HELL I WAS DOING HERE Was I trying to push myself back into the zombie stupor? Had I turned masochisticdeveloped a taste for torture? I should have gone straight down to La Push I felt much, much healthier around Jacob This was not a healthy thing to do. But I continued to drive slowly down the overgrown lane, twisting through the trees that arched over me like a green, living tunnel My hands were shaking, so I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. I knew that part of the reason I did this was the nightmare, now that I was really awake, the nothingness of the dream gnawed on my nerves, a dog worrying a bone. There was something to search for. Unattainable and impossible, uncaring and distracted but he was out there, somewhere. I had to believe that. The other part was the strange sense of repetition I'd felt at school today, the coincidence of the date. The feeling that I was starting overperhaps the way my first day would have gone if I'd really been the most unusual person in the cafeteria that afternoon. The words ran through my head, tonelessly, like I was reading them rather than hearing them spoken: It will be as if I'd never existed. I was lying to myself by splitting my reason for coming here into just two parts. I didn't want to admit the strongest motivation. Because it was mentally unsound. The truth was that I wanted to hear his voice again, like I had in the strange delusion Friday night. For that brief moment, when his voice came from some other part of me than my conscious memory, when his voice was perfect and honey smooth rather than the pale echo my memories usually produced, I was able to remember without pain. It hadn't lasted; the pain had caught up with me, as I was sure it would for this fool's errand. But those precious moments when I could hear him again were an irresistible lure. I had to find some way to repeat the experience or maybe the better word was episode. I was hoping that dj vu was the key. So I was going to his home, a place I hadn't been since my ill-fated birthday party, so many months ago. The thick, almost jungle-like growth crawled slowly past my windows. The drive wound on and on. I started to go faster, getting edgy. How long had I been driving? Shouldn't I have reached the house yet? The lane was so overgrown that it did not look familiar. What if I couldn't find it? I shivered. What if there was no tangible proof at all? Then there was the break in the trees that I was looking for, only it was not so pronounced as before. The flora here did not wait long to reclaim any land that was left unguarded. The tall ferns had infiltrated the meadow around the house, crowding against the trunks of the cedars, even the wide porch. It was like the lawn had been floodedwaist-highwith green, feathery waves. And the house was there, but it was not the same. Though nothing had changed on the outside, the emptiness screamed from the blank windows. It was creepy. For the first time since I'd seen the beautiful house, it looked like a fitting haunt for vampires. I hit the brakes, looking away. I was afraid to go farther. But nothing happened. No voice in my head. So I left the engine running and jumped out into the fern sea. Maybe, like Friday night, if I walked forward I approached the barren, vacant face slowly, my truck rumbling out a comforting roar behind me. I stopped when I got to the porch stairs, because there was nothing here. No lingering sense of their presence of his presence. The house was solidly here, but it meant little. Its concrete reality would not counteract the nothingness of the nightmares. I didn't go any closer. I didn't want to look in the windows. I wasn't sure which would be harder to see. If the rooms were bare, echoing empty from floor to ceiling, that would certainly hurt. Like my grandmother's funeral, when my mother had insisted that I stay outside during the viewing. She had said that I didn't need to see Gran that way, to remember her that way, rather than alive. But wouldn't it be worse if there were no change? If the couches sat just as I'd last seen them, the paintings on the wallsworse still, the piano on its low platform? It would be second only to the house disappearing all together, to see that there was no physical possession that tied them in anyway. That everything remained, untouched and forgotten, behind them. Just like me. I turned my back on the gaping emptiness and hurried to my truck. I nearly ran. I was anxious to be gone, to get back to the human world. I felt hideously empty, and I wanted to see Jacob. Maybe I was developing a new kind of sickness, another addiction, like the numbness before. I didn't care. I pushed my truck as fast as it would go as I barreled toward my fix. Jacob was waiting for me. My chest seemed to relax as soon as I saw him, making it easier to breathe. â€Å"Hey, Bella,† he called. I smiled in relief. â€Å"Hey, Jacob,† I waved at Billy, who was looking out the window. â€Å"Let's get to work,† Jacob said in a low but eager voice. I was somehow able to laugh. â€Å"You seriously aren't sick of me yet?† I wondered. He must be starting to ask himself how desperate I was for company. Jacob led the way around the house to his garage. â€Å"Nope. Not yet.† â€Å"Please let me know when I start getting on your nerves. I don't want to be a pain.† â€Å"Okay.† He laughed, a throaty sound. â€Å"I wouldn't hold your breath for that, though.† When I walked into the garage, I was shocked to see the red bike standing up, looking like a motorcycle rather than a pile of jagged metal. â€Å"Jake, you're amazing,† I breathed. He laughed again. â€Å"I get obsessive when I have a project.† He shrugged. â€Å"If I had any brains I'd drag it out a little bit.† â€Å"Why?† He looked down, pausing for so long that I wondered if he hadn't heard my question. Finally, he asked me, â€Å"Bella, if I told you that I couldn't fix these bikes, what would you say?† I didn't answer right away, either, and he glanced up to check my expression. â€Å"I would say that's too bad, but I'll bet we could figure out something else to do. If we got really desperate, we could even do homework.† Jacob smiled, and his shoulders relaxed. He sat down next to the bike and picked up a wrench. â€Å"So you think you'll still come over when I'm done, then?† â€Å"Is that what you meant?† I shook my head. â€Å"I guess I am taking advantage of your very underpriced mechanical skills. But as long as you let me come over, I'll be here.† â€Å"Hoping to see Quil again?† he teased. â€Å"You caught me.† He chuckled. â€Å"You really like spending time with me?† he asked, marveling. â€Å"Very, very much. And I'll prove it. I have to work tomorrow, but Wednesday we'll do something nonmechanical.† â€Å"Like what?† â€Å"I have no idea. We can go to my place so you won't be tempted to be obsessive. You could bring your schoolworkyou have to be getting behind, because I know I am.† â€Å"Homework might be a good idea.† He made a face, and I wondered how much he was leaving undone to be with me. â€Å"Yes,† I agreed. â€Å"We'll have to start being responsible occasionally, or Billy and Charlie aren't going to be so easygoing about this.† I made a gesture indicating the two of us as a single entity. He liked thathe beamed. â€Å"Homework once a week?† he proposed. â€Å"Maybe we'd better go with twice,† I suggested, thinking of the pile I'd just been assigned today. He sighed a heavy sigh. Then he reached over his toolbox to a paper grocery sack. He pulled out two cans of soda, cracking one open and handing it to me. He opened the second, and held it up ceremoniously. â€Å"Here's to responsibility,† he toasted. â€Å"Twice a week.† â€Å"And recklessness every day in between,† I emphasized. He grinned and touched his can to mine. I got home later than I'd planned and found Charlie had ordered a pizza rather than wait for me. He wouldn't let me apologize. â€Å"I don't mind,† he assured me. â€Å"You deserve a break from all the cooking, anyway.† I knew he was just relieved that I was still acting like a normal person, and he was not about to rock the boat. I checked my e-mail before I started on my homework, and there was a long one from Renee. She gushed over every detail I'd provided her with, so I sent back another exhaustive description of my day. Everything but the motorcycles. Even happy-go-lucky Renee was likely to be alarmed by that. School Tuesday had its ups and downs. Angela and Mike seemed ready to welcome me back with open armsto kindly overlook my few months of aberrant behavior. Jess was more resistant. I wondered if she needed a formal written apology for the Port Angeles incident. Mike was animated and chatty at work. It was like he'd stored up the semester's worth of talk, and it was all spilling out now. I found that I was able to smile and laugh with him, though it wasn't as effortless as it was with Jacob. It seemed harmless enough, until quitting time. Mike put the closed sign in the window while I folded my vest and shoved it under the counter. â€Å"This was fun tonight,† Mike said happily. â€Å"Yeah,† I agreed, though I'd much rather have spent the afternoon in the garage. â€Å"It's too bad that you had to leave the movie early last week.† I was a little confused by his train of thought. I shrugged. â€Å"I'm just a wimp, I guess.† â€Å"What I mean is, you should go to a better movie, something you'd enjoy,† he explained. â€Å"Oh,† I muttered, still confused. â€Å"Like maybe this Friday. With me. We could go see something that isn't scary at all.† I bit my lip. I didn't want to screw things up with Mike, not when he was one of the only people ready to forgive me for being crazy. But this, again, felt far too familiar. Like the last year had never happened. I wished I had Jess as an excuse this time. â€Å"Like a date?† I asked. Honesty was probably the best policy at this point. Get it over with. He processed the tone of my voice â€Å"If you want. But it doesn't have to be like that.† â€Å"I don't date,† I said slowly, realizing how true that was. That whole world seemed impossibly distant. â€Å"Just as friends?† he suggested. His clear blue eyes were not as eager now. I hoped he really meant that we could be friends anyway. â€Å"That would be fun. But I actually have plans already this Friday, so maybe next week?† â€Å"What are you doing?† he asked, less casually than I think he wanted to sound. â€Å"Homework. I have a study session planned with a friend.† â€Å"Oh. Okay. Maybe next week.† He walked me to my car, less exuberant than before. It reminded me so clearly of my first months in Forks. I'd come full circle, and now everything felt like an echoan empty echo, devoid of the interest it used to have. The next night, Charlie didn't seem the smallest bit surprised to find Jacob and me sprawled across the living room floor with our books scattered around us, so I guessed that he and Billy were talking behind our backs. â€Å"Hey, kids,† he said, his eyes straying to the kitchen. The smell of the lasagna I'd spent the afternoon makingwhile Jacob watched and occasionally sampledwafted down the hall; I was being good, trying to atone for all the pizza. Jacob stayed for dinner, and took a plate home for Billy. He grudgingly added another year to my negotiable age for being a good cook. Friday was the garage, and Saturday, after my shift at Newton's, was homework again. Charlie felt secure enough in my sanity to spend the day fishing with Harry. When he got back, we were all donefeeling very sensible and mature about it, tooand watching Monster Garage on the Discovery Channel. â€Å"I probably ought to go.† Jacob sighed. â€Å"It's later than I thought.† â€Å"Okay, fine,† I grumbled. â€Å"I'll take you home.† He laughed at my unwilling expressionit seemed to please him. â€Å"Tomorrow, back to work,† I said as soon as we were safe in the truck. â€Å"What time do you want me to come up?† There was an unexplained excitement in his answering smile. â€Å"I'll call you first, okay?† â€Å"Sure.† I frowned to myself, wondering what was up. His smile widened. I cleaned the house the next morningwaiting for Jacob to call and trying to shake off the Litest nightmare. The scenery had changed. Last night I'd wandered in a wide sea of ferns interspersed with huge hemlock trees. There was nothing else there, and I was lost, wandering aimless and alone, searching for nothing. I wanted to kick myself for the stupid field trip last week. I shoved the dream out of my conscious mind, hoping it would stay locked up somewhere and not escape again. Charlie was outside washing the cruiser, so when the phone rang, I dropped the toilet brush and ran downstairs to answer it. â€Å"Hello?† I asked breathlessly. â€Å"Bella,† Jacob said, a strange, formal tone to his voice. â€Å"Hey, Jake.† â€Å"I believe that we have a date† he said, his tone thick with implications. It took me a second before I got it. â€Å"They're done? I can't believe it!† What perfect timing. I needed something to distract me from nightmares and nothingness. â€Å"Yeah, they run and everything.† â€Å"Jacob, you are absolutely, without a doubt, the most talented and wonderful person I know. You get ten years for this one.† â€Å"Cool! I'm middle-aged now.† I laughed. â€Å"I'm on my way up!† I threw the cleaning supplies under the bathroom counter and grabbed my jacket. â€Å"Headed to see Jake,† Charlie said when I ran past him. It wasn't really a question. â€Å"Yep,† I replied as I jumped in my truck. â€Å"I'll be at the station later,† Charlie called after me. â€Å"Okay,† I yelled back, turning the key. Charlie said something else, but I couldn't hear him clearly over the roar of the engine. It sounded sort of like, â€Å"Where's the fire?† I parked my truck off to the side of the Blacks' house, close to the trees, to make it easier for us to sneak the bikes out. When I got out, a splash of color caught my eyetwo shiny motorcycles, one red, one black, were hidden under a spruce, invisible from the house. Jacob was prepared. There was a piece of blue ribbon tied in a small bow around each of the handlebars. I was laughing at that when Jacob ran out of the house. â€Å"Ready?† he asked in a low voice, his eyes sparkling. I glanced over his shoulder, and there was no sign of Billy. â€Å"Yeah,† I said, but I didn't feel quite as excited as before; I was trying to imagine myself actually on the motorcycle. Jacob loaded the bikes into the bed of the truck with ease, laying them carefully on their sides so they didn't show. â€Å"Let's go,† he said, his voice higher than usual with excitement. â€Å"I know the perfect spotno one will catch us there.† We drove south out of town. The dirt road wove in and out of the forestsometimes there was nothing but trees, and then there would suddenly be a breathtaking glimpse of the Pacific Ocean, reaching to the horizon, dark gray under the clouds. We were above the shore, on top of the cliffs that bordered the beach here and the view seemed to stretch on forever. I was driving slowly, so that I could safely stare out across the ocean now and then, as the road wound closer to the sea cliffs. Jacob was talking about finishing the bikes, but his descriptions were getting technical, so I wasn't paying close attention. That was when I noticed four figures standing on a rocky ledge, much too close to the precipice. I couldn't tell from the distance how old they were, but I assumed they were men. Despite the chill in the air today, they seemed to be wearing only shorts. As I watched, the tallest person stepped closer to the brink. I slowed automatically, my foot hesitating over the brake pedal. And then he threw himself off the edge. â€Å"No!† I shouted, stomping down on the brake. â€Å"What's wrong?† Jacob shouted back, alarmed. â€Å"That guyhe just jumped off the cliff! Why didn't they stop him? We've got to call an ambulance!† I threw open my door and started to get out, which made no sense at all. The fastest way to a phone was to drive back to Billy's. But I couldn't believe what I'd just seen. Maybe, subconsciously, I hoped I would see something different without the glass of the windshield in the way. Jacob laughed, and I spun to stare at him wildly. How could he be so calloused, so cold-blooded? â€Å"They're just cliff diving, Bella. Recreation. La Push doesn't have a mall, you know.† He was teasing, but there was a strange note of irritation in his voice. â€Å"Cliff diving?† I repeated, dazed. I stared in disbelief as a second figure stepped to the edge, paused, and then very gracefully leaped into space. He fell for what seemed like an eternity to me, finally cutting smoothly into the dark gray waves below. â€Å"Wow. It's so high.† I slid back into my seat, still staring wide-eyed at the two remaining divers. â€Å"It must be a hundred feet.† â€Å"Well, yeah, most of us jump from lower down, that rock that juts out from the cliff about halfway.† He pointed out his window. The place he indicated did seem much more reasonable. â€Å"Those guys are insane. Probably showing off how tough they are. I mean, really, it's freezing today. That water can't feel good.† He made a disgruntled face, as if the stunt personally offended him. It surprised me a little. I would have thought Jacob was nearly impossible to upset. â€Å"You jump off the cliff?† I hadn't missed the â€Å"us.† â€Å"Sure, sure.† He shrugged and grinned. â€Å"It's fun. A little scary, kind of a rush.† I looked back at the cliffs, where the third figure was pacing the edge. I'd never witnessed anything so reckless in all my life. My eyes widened, and I smiled. â€Å"Jake, you have to take me cliff diving.† He frowned back at me, his face disapproving. â€Å"Bella, you just wanted to call an ambulance for Sam,† he reminded me. I was surprised that he could tell who it was from this distance. â€Å"I want to try,† I insisted, start ing to get out of the car again. Jacob grabbed my wrist. â€Å"Not today, all right? Can we at least wait for a warmer day?† â€Å"Okay, fine,† I agreed. With the door open, the glacial breeze was raising goose bumps on my arm. â€Å"But I want to go soon.† â€Å"Soon.† He rolled his eyes. â€Å"Sometimes you're a little strange, Bella. Do you know that?† I sighed. â€Å"Yes.† â€Å"And we're not jumping off the top.† I watched, fascinated, as the third boy made a running start and flung himself farther into the empty air than the other two. He twisted and cartwheeled through space as he fell, like he was skydiving. He looked absolutely freeunthinking and utterly irresponsible. â€Å"Fine,† I agreed. â€Å"Not the first time, anyway.† Now Jacob sighed. â€Å"Are we going to try out the bikes or not?† he demanded. â€Å"Okay, okay,† I said, tearing my eyes away from the last person waiting on the cliff. I put my seat belt back on and closed the door. The engine was still running, roaring as it idled. We started down the road again. â€Å"So who were those guysthe crazy ones?† I wondered. He made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat. â€Å"The La Push gang.† â€Å"You have a gang?† I asked. I realized that I sounded impressed. He laughed once at my reaction. â€Å"Not like that. I swear, they're like hall monitors gone bad. They don't start fights, they keep the peace.† He snorted. â€Å"There was this guy from up somewhere by the Makah rez, big guy too, scary-looking. Well, word got around that he was selling meth to kids, and Sam Uley and his disciples ran him off our land. They're all about our land, and tribe pride it's getting ridiculous. The worst part is that the council takes them seriously. Embry said that the council actually meets with Sam.† He shook his head, face full of resentment. â€Å"Embry also heard from Leah Clearwater that they call themselves ‘protectors' or something like that.† Jacob's hands were clenched into fists, as if he'd like to hit something. I'd never seen this side of him. I was surprised to hear Sam Uley's name. I didn't want it to bring back the images from my nightmare, so I made a quick observation to distract myself. â€Å"You don't like them very much.† â€Å"Does it show?† he asked sarcastically. â€Å"Well It doesn't sound like they're doing anything bad.† I tried to soothe him, to make him cheerful again. â€Å"Just sort of annoyingly goody-two-shoes for a gang.† â€Å"Yeah. Annoying is a good word. They're always showing offlike the cliff thing. They act like like, I don't know. Like tough guys. I was hanging out at the store with Embry and Quil once, last semester, and Sam came by with his followers, Jared and Paul. Quil said something, you know how he's got a big mouth, and it pissed Paul off. His eyes got all dark, and he sort of smiledno, he showed his teeth but he didn't smileand it was like he was so mad he was shaking or something. But Sam put his hand against Paul's chest and shook his head. Paul looked at him for a minute and calmed down. Honestly, it was like Sam was holding him backlike Paul was going to tear us up if Sam didn't stop him.† He groaned. â€Å"Like a bad western. You know, Sam's a pretty big guy, he's twenty. But Paul's just sixteen, too, shorter than me and not as beefy as Quil. I think any one of us could take him.† â€Å"Tough guys,† I agreed. I could see it in my head as he described it, and it reminded me of something a trio of tall, dark men standing very still and close together in my father's living room. The picture was sideways, because my head was lying against the couch while Dr. Gerandy and Charlie leaned over me Had that been Sam's gang? I spoke quickly again to divert myself from the bleak memories. â€Å"Isn't Sam a little too old for this kind of thing?† â€Å"Yeah. He was supposed to go to college, but he stayed. And no one gave him any crap about it, either. The whole council pitched a fit when my sister turned down a partial scholarship and got married. But, oh no, Sam Uley can do no wrong.† His face was set in unfamiliar lines of outrageoutrage and something else I didn't recognize at first. â€Å"It all sounds really annoying and strange. But I don't get why you're taking it so personally.† I peeked over at his face, hoping I hadn't offended him. He was suddenly calm, staring out the side window. â€Å"You just missed the turn,† he said in an even voice. I executed a very wide U-turn, nearly hitting a tree as my circle ran the truck halfway off the road. â€Å"Thanks for the heads-up,† I muttered as I started up the side road. â€Å"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.† It was quiet for a brief minute. â€Å"You can stop anywhere along here,† he said softly. I pulled over and cut the engine. My ears rang in the silence that followed. We both got out, and Jacob headed around to the back to get the bikes. I tried to read his expression. Something more was bothering him. I'd hit a nerve. He smiled halfheartedly as he pushed the red bike to my side. â€Å"Happy late birthday. Are you ready for this?† â€Å"I think so.† The bike suddenly looked intimidating, frightening, as I realized I would soon be astride it. â€Å"We'll take it slow,† he promised. I gingerly leaned the motorcycle against the truck's fender while he went to get his. â€Å"Jake†I hesitated as he came back around the truck. â€Å"Yeah?† â€Å"What's really bothering you? About the Sam thing, I mean? Is there something else?† I watched his face. He grimaced, but he didn't seem angry. He looked at the dirt and kicked his shoe against the front tire of his bike again and again, like he was keeping time. He sighed. â€Å"It's just the way they treat me. It creeps me out.† The words started to rush out now. â€Å"You know, the council is supposed to be made up of equals, but if there was a leader, it would be my dad. I've never been able to figure out why people treat him the way they do. Why his opinion counts the most. It's got something to do with his father and his father's father. My great-grandpa, Ephraim Black, was sort of the last chief we had, and they still listen to Billy, maybe because of that. â€Å"But I'm just like everyone else. Nobody treats me special until now.† That caught me off guard. â€Å"Sam treats you special?† â€Å"Yeah,† he agreed, looking up at me with troubled eyes. â€Å"He looks at me like he's waiting for something like I'm going to join his stupid gang someday. He pays more attention to me than any of the other guys. I hate it.† â€Å"You don't have to join anything.† My voice was angry. This was really upsetting Jacob, and that infuriated me. Who did these â€Å"protectors† think they were? â€Å"Yeah.† His foot kept up its rhythm against the tire. â€Å"What?† I could tell there was more. He frowned, his eyebrows pulling up in a way that looked sad and worried rather than angry. â€Å"It's Embry. He's been avoiding me lately.† The thoughts didn't seem connected, but I wondered if I was to blame for the problems with his friend. â€Å"You've been hanging out with me a lot,† I reminded him, feeling selfish. I'd been monopolizing him. â€Å"No, that's not it. It's not just meit's Quil, too, and everyone. Embry missed a week of school, but he was never home when we tried to see him. And when he came back, he looked he looked freaked out. Terrified. Quil and I both tried to get him to tell us what was wrong, but he wouldn't talk to either one of us.† I stared at Jacob, biting my lip anxiouslyhe was really frightened. But he didn't look at me. He watched his own foot kicking the rubber as if it belonged to someone else. The tempo increased. â€Å"Then this week, out of nowhere, Embry's hanging out with Sam and the rest of them. He was out on the cliffs today.† His voice was low and tense. He finally looked at me. â€Å"Bella, they bugged him even more than they bother me. He didn't want anything to do with them. And now Embry's following Sam around like he's joined a cult. â€Å"And that's the way it was with Paul. Just exactly the same. He wasn't friends with Sam at all. Then he stopped coming to school for a few weeks, and, when he came back, suddenly Sam owned him. I don't know what it means. I can't figure it out, and I feel like I have to, because Embry's my friend and Sam's looking at me funny . . and† He trailed off. â€Å"Have you talked to Billy about this?† I asked. His horror was spreading to me. I had chills running on the back of my neck. Now there was anger on his face. â€Å"Yes,† he snorted. â€Å"That was helpful.† â€Å"What did he say?† Jacob's expression was sarcastic, and when he spoke, his voice mocked the deep tones of his father's voice. â€Å"It's nothing you need to worry about now, Jacob. In a few years, if you don't well, I'll explain later.† And then his voice was his own. â€Å"What am I supposed to get from that? Is he trying to say it's some stupid puberty, coming-of-age thing? This is something else. Something wrong.† He was biting his lower lip and clenching his hands. He looked like he was about to cry. I threw my arms around him instinctively, wrapping them around his waist and pressing my face against his chest. He was so big, I felt like I was a child hugging a grown-up. â€Å"Oh, Jake, it'll be okay!† I promised. â€Å"If it gets worse you can come live with me and Charlie. Don't be scared, we'll think of something!† He was frozen for a second, and then his long arms wrapped hesitantly around me. â€Å"Thanks, Bella.† His voice was huskier than usual. We stood like that for a moment, and it didn't upset me; in fact, I felt comforted by the contact. This didn't feel anything like the last time someone had embraced me this way. This was friendship. And Jacob was very warm. It was strange for me, being this closeemotionally rather than physically, though the physical was strange for me, tooto another human being. It wasn't my usual style. I didn't normally relate to people so easily, on such a basic level. Not human beings. â€Å"If this is how you're going to react, I'll freak out more often.† Jacob's voice was light, normal again, and his laughter rumbled against my ear. His fingers touched my hair, soft and tentative. Well, it was friendship for me. I pulled away quickly, laughing with him, but determined to put things back in perspective at once. â€Å"It's hard to believe I'm two years older than you,† I said, emphasizing the word older. â€Å"You make me feel like a dwarf.† Standing this close to him, I really had to crane my neck to see his face. â€Å"You're forgetting I'm in my forties, of course.† â€Å"Oh, that's right.† He patted my head. â€Å"You're like a little doll,† he teased. â€Å"A porcelain doll.† I rolled my eyes, taking another step away. â€Å"Let's not start with the albino cracks.† â€Å"Seriously, Bella, are you sure you're not?† He stretched his russet arm out next to mine. The difference wasn't flattering. â€Å"I've never seen anyone paler than you well, except for† He broke off, and I looked away, trying to not understand what he had been about to say. â€Å"So are we going to ride or what?† â€Å"Let's do it,† I agreed, more enthusiastic than I would have been half a minute ago. His unfinished sentence reminded me of why I was here.